


oh, how much we want to fly

by mirroroflit (volunteer_of_hufflepuff)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universes, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death in Some of the Universes, M/M, Shadowhunters: The Ficlet Instruments, apologies for that, because at heart I'm an angst fiend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-21 08:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19999174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volunteer_of_hufflepuff/pseuds/mirroroflit
Summary: [The neon lights of Magnus Bane’s life support flickers next to the ship’s cracked glass.And Alec Lightwood watches from a distance, gaze lingering on the dying man he has loved in secret.]Lights. Aren’t they our defence against the darkness?For Magnus and Alec, it may just depend on what universe they are in.Or: a series of tales of their story, and how much chance can determine our destinies.





	oh, how much we want to fly

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [sh_ficletinstruments](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sh_ficletinstruments) collection. 



> ...
> 
> I didn't mean for it to be this to be this sad, but. Don't be too mad?

The spaceship bustles, chaotic after another vicious battle.

The neon lights of Magnus Bane’s life support flickers next to the ship’s cracked glass.

And Alec Lightwood watches from a distance, gaze lingering on the dying man he has loved in secret.

But. Confessing is not an option, not any more.

.

The blue glow of tainted memories swirls in front of him.

Magnus swallows, the crackle of magic flickering to life in his hands.

It’s too much, too much to carry after the cutting words of one cold fall night.

The magic cracks across his memories like a knife.

And he forgets.

.

It is May, 1998.

The cool sheen of an English night has set in, but it is unnoticeable underneath the heat of flying spells.

Magnus searches, searches until fear thickens into an immovable lump in his heart, for the fighting form of his husband.

They shouldn’t be here - it is not their war, after all. New York is their home.

But Alec - his heart too big - had heard of the atrocities over the ocean and asked Magnus if he wanted to fight for their brethren.

And so here they are.

Maybe Magnus’ heart is too big as well.

That is his last thought before he spots his husband’s unmoving body on the cracked stone of the Great Hall, and he screams.

A head whips around in front of him, wild black hair dancing.

Bellatrix pulls out her wand.

And the last thing Magnus sees, too lost in agony to lift his own wand, is a beam of neon green.

.

Magnus’ eyes gleam golden in the dark.

And, this time, his magic does not save him from his step-father’s rage.

.

The soul sword glows too bright, too soon.

Alec never does find Magnus that night.

Not when he was burnt into a fine coating of ash onto the Institute’s gilded entrance door.

.

Lights.

Aren’t they pretty?

Or maybe.

Maybe, they are deadly.

.

The neon lights of the Hunter’s Moon don’t flash, exactly, but they buzz with the electrical vibrancy of the Downworld.

Magnus twists his ring around, the cool metal biting into his skin, as he orders a cocktail.

Next to him, Alec orders a beer.

It is their first date, maybe a little bit backwards after their kiss at Alec’s abandoned wedding.

But, it is a start.

The neon lights behind the bar, an array of cheery colours, are bright.

And Magnus smiles.

.

Maybe lights can be a blessing, not a curse.

For doesn't Magnus and Alec's love burn bright?

**Author's Note:**

> all feedback is appreciated - hope it wasn't too sad.
> 
> [tumblr ](https://mirrorofliterature.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/mirroroflit)


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